Ian Samuel

"On a standardized test, it's fine if you bubble in the same letter three or more times."

"My pee flushed right down the toilet. Plus the gas works in my car. A+!"

"Beware: the chai mix isn't vegan, and you may not be warned of this."

"They have mock (vegetarian) duck!"

"There is gluten free crust and vegan cheese here if you're a killjoy like me!"

"The Vanilla Bean cannot be beat."