Erica Grunwald

"The youngest son of the household I heard has a pretty big anaconda"

"Don't you dare try and sign out your guest at 12:02 because you'll get lectured by a pissy security guard (in which you you paid the salary of) about how you need to learn to read a clock."

"Name changes every week but what won't change is my desire to buy basic grocery items without getting out of the car"

"If you take a crap on the floor of the bathroom, maybe clean it up? Just a thought"

"Any food consumed within these walls will be one of the best meals you've ever had!"

"The hot girl that lives here drives a pretty sweet vehicle.."