Tom Fortunato

"This gas station is now a Circle K! 79¢ Polar Pops, any size!"

"This motel seems a little dingy, and it's incredibly cheap (my room cost me $39.55, tax included), so I was a little worried. However, my room was very clean, and my bathroom was spotless! Good place!"

"The bathroom seriously needs regular maintenance. It's constantly running out of toilet paper, and there is no soap or hand towels. The bathroom doesn't even have a mirror or a garbage can."

"They buy aluminum for 49¢ a pound."

"Try the gizzards. They're excellently flavored, and perfectly cooked!"

"They will not accept your ID if it's broken in any way. Even if it shows you're older than 21, they will turn you away if the card is broken."