Mike D

"if you have to take a shit - then recommend you stop, it's not beneath you to do that at a rest area. the stall I was in had "Trump dumped here" written in orange crayon 🖍️ on the door."

"order the pancakes and then immerse your fingers in syrup, then ask your flight attendant "Hey is this place Stickies or Sickies?" they'll fall down snort laughing guaranteed!"

"We talked to George himself out on the balcony. nice guy but I've been told he makes funny noises. Oh yeah, charcuterie board was fabulous!"

"my favorite color of parking garage - oh yeah, did also mention it's my favorite flavor of parking garage, too?"

"empty your pockets and refrain from saying something like "how do I spell TSA?" tips them off every time that maybe you're not from around here"

"If I were a sushi roll, I would come and wait over there in that dark corner and keep very quiet! the sushi motto - live to be eaten another day!"