Michael Fern

"Bring a picnic blanket, food, and plenty of beer"

"The H.O.A. here are nazis and there are two registered sex offenders living here"

"The pho here is the best I've ever had, never murky or reheated, always made after you order it."

"The police force here is as thorough as the gestapo c:"

"The Spicy Texas Polish kolaches are crazy good and will put hair on your boys"